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Why I’m Not Afraid of Labor


After experiencing the most spiritually awakening and difficult task I’ve ever completed in my life, I knew natural labor was a special gift I’d been given to help me grow within myself. 

Before labor with Aspen I read two books: one on The Bradley Method and Ina May Gaskin’s Guide To Childbirth. The Bradley Method taught me to flow with my body and work through the pain, to relax during contractions (good luck with that) and breathe through each one (this saved me).  Ina May taught me to visualize my body doing incredible things: my cervix opening wide enough for a baby without tearing, to embrace each pain as progress and to remember that women have done this drug-free for thousands of years. 

Going into Aspen’s labor I knew she was “sunny-side-up” which means her back was against my back and is known to induce massive back labor pains. But at the same time I hadn’t experienced labor before so I figured it would be all I know. My back labor felt like a combination of all my bones being slowly crushed while burning alive, it was horrific pain. It felt wrong, like something was “off”, but guess what- I did it!  After 30 hours of natural labor, I had a baby. But if felt like less time to me.  Maybe because my hormones kicked into overdrive and sped time up for me? Maybe because I entered what felt like a state of altered existence to cope with the pain?  I don’t know, but it felt like a lot less time – perhaps around 8 hours. 

I ended up pulling Aspen out of me and right away I noticed she was looking at my left thigh, this is the wrong way! No wonder it hurt so terribly. 

Now here I am again! As I type this I’m going in and out of contractions and I can tell labor will be coming soon. Except now I know what to expect and contrary to what many may think, I’m thrilled!  (It helps that I can tell that my twin A – closest to the exit – has maneuvered out of his previous sunny-side-up position and is looking at my back. How can I tell? I can feel it! I know what back labor feels like, I had those excruciating contractions a few weeks ago and I knew he was in the wrong position. But now I can tell he moved. I know my body so well now!) I love knowing my body can handle childbirth, it’s such a beautiful gift to experience a vaginal delivery drug-free. It’s not scary, it’s exhilarating! It’s badass! It’s spiritual! It hurts like hell but I can handle it!  And I’m looking forward to each mind-blowing contraction because out comes two babies at the end. I do hope it’s quick and relatively easy but if not, I can handle that because I have before. 

I’ve prepped my body by treating it like a temple through nourishment, I’ve prepped my mind by breathing and meditating, I’ve prepped my spirit by praying: I’ve got this.  Let’s do it.  

And if you have a spare second send a well-wish off into the universe to bless me with an even stronger body, mind and spirit than I already know I have (and I know you have too, just tap into it!).

26 Comments

    • I’ve sent many 🙏🙏’s up for you & your family love♥️ Cont. prayers , Mia Stephenson-Webb

    • You look great, honey. I had 3 natural and one c section for my 10lb 8 1/2 oz. son. That wad no bueno. I am praying for you and visualizing a healthy labor and delivery. I check in a few times a day to see how you are doing. Much love to you says:

      Julie Cohen

  • Love this!!! I plan on doing an unmedicated birth too..although this is my first I know my body can do it💪🏻 Good luck mama💗

  • I love everything you just said and how you worded it…and the fact that you looked at this as a spiritual growth.
    Good luck with this next labour and your two new littles.

  • You’re so inspiring!!! I don’t have kids yet, TTC currently. I always thought I would get an epidural but I love reading other women’s experiences & it’s really encouraging to try & do it natural. I wish you luck in labor, your twins will be as cute as Aspen! Also congrats for making it so far with multiples, as I have heard that’s not always the case. Best of luck to you and your beautiful family!

  • You are a badass superhero 🏋🏼‍♀️🧘🏼‍♀️ Way stronger than me. But if I could do it again I would do a natural birth. My first two deliveries went horribly wrong and my last was amazing. The nurse shut off my epidural and I felt it all and when I think about it, I’m so glad she did. Sending love and prayers your way darling. Ant wait to see the babies 🤗💖

  • My labor with my first son sounds exactly like yours. Nothing can prepare you for back labor. My second was totally different, a quarter of the time and no back labor and I kept waiting for it to get bad. Pushing and crowning was still very tough but the rest was not bad at all. Hope you’d goes as smoothly!

  • I will pray for you and babies for a smooth healthy la or and delivery. I pray that God wrap his arms around all 3 of you through it all. You are so amazing and so inspiring to so many. 🙏🙏❤️❤️ says:

    Olivia

  • Sending positive thoughts & prayers to your already amazing spirit & strength. God Bless you and your sons on this beautiful journey you are about to partake upon.

  • You are putting all the rest of the mom’s to shame. Beautiful, strong, determined and focused. Best wishes for the two most awesome little guys in St. Louis!

  • Best of luck! I’m a labor and delivery nurse! Sending positive vibes for you and those babes to have a healthy happy delivery!!

  • I absolutely love you (even before I knew we shared similar views) I love that you are so informed and are using your platform to share the beauty of natural birth/life. God is amazing! And so are our bodies. I’m praying for you and your babies. I can not wait to hear your story about labor and delivery. It truly is a beautiful thing. I chose a birth center for my second birth and would not change the 31 hour labor (I spent 5 hours dilated at 9.5 and almost conceded to no break back to back contractions, if not for the prayer circle lead by my midwives, photog, and hubby and God’s grace my sweet girl arrived 5 min later.) the unexplainable bond formed between me and my husband, and experience of pushing your body until it will go no more and then give new life. It truly is unexplainable and you are an inspiration. Prayers coming your way.

  • I had my first 2 babies without any drugs. It hurt like hell but it was worth it. Congrats on your twins! says:

    Jenn B

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