Beach Day: Mom Edition

Have you ever taken your three babies to the beach?  If not, I’m gonna save you some time – don’t.  If you’ve done it once, bless you.  If you’ve done it more than once, you must be a masochist.

I thought I should take my kids to the beach since we’re vacationing in Florida.  Of course Girly Girl had to come, too.  I googled “dog friendly beaches” and wouldn’t you know one was just a couple miles away.

I pack up the double Bob stroller (wheels off so it fits better), a lunch for Aspen, food for the twins, changes of clothes, sunblock, and all the other crap that’s needed when you take three kids in diapers anywhere.

They’re all in the car and my au pair is bringing up the rear, there’s no going back now.

We got a great parking spot at the beach and I unload everyone as I repeat a chant that goes something like this: “This WILL be worth it!  You’re doing it for the kids!”  The twins need their bottles so I lay them flat in the stroller and wish them Godspeed as they clumsily grapple their bottles.

Oh, this beach prohibits dogs?  Then why on God’s green earth is it called “Dog Beach” I KID YOU NOT.  Girly Girl literally poops right in front of the sign as if to show that sign who’s boss.

I google “dog friendly beaches” and it seems as if I’m really close to where I need to be but we walk a couple hundred feet and alas, more “Dogs Prohibited” signs.  But I think if we got a couple miles north we’ll be fine.  So back to the car we go.  <Reread and insert the paragraph about packing up the car here.>

We drive north and I think we’re in the safe zone but I ask a dog walker just to be safe.  Yep, Girly Girl is free to pee on this beach.  This dog-friendly beach that is no more than 50 more feet from the furthest “Dogs Prohibited” sign I’d last encountered!  So now I’m super excited that I packed everyone back in the car (stroller wheels off and all) so I could take an extra 20 minutes just to move 50 feet.  But at least we’re where we want to be.

However, I notice there’s no ramp to get down to the beach, just stairs.  So I put my problem-solving hat on:

Step one: I exit vehicle and take the stroller down the stairs to the beach alone (after I put the wheels back on).

Step two: Run back to car and get twins and Aspen out of carseats while the stroller waits idly.

Step three: Hand one baby to the au pair, carry the other one, and pray that Aspen walks ever so more quickly than a snail.

Step four: Oh yeah, the dog.  Can someone grab the leash with your extra fifth hand that all moms and child-caregivers seem to somehow possess?  Great.

Step five: Go down beach steps and put Twin 1 in stroller, run back up to grab Twin 2 so the au pair can help Aspen go down the rickety beach steps.  Girly Girl is in the bottom of the stroller at this point.

Commence beach day!  I trudge this dang stroller through the sand.  I did it but it wasn’t easy or pretty.

But the sand is hot and, well, sandy, so that bothered Aspen.  The waves are loud and the water is wet – also an annoyance to Aspen.  She’s also hungry.  Good thing we have two bath towels we brought from our house to have a picnic on!  (What we don’t have is the solar tent I had for the babies that my friend lent me because my resort “misplaced” it… ahem someone stole it.)

I have our au pair help Aspen eat the lunch I packed her so it didn’t get sandy while I fed the twins baby food and gave Girly Girl water. After changing the twins’ diapers, putting on sunscreen and their swim outfits (all done in the stroller), I took Hart to the water.

He was scared of it.

Aspen’s turn.

Too many things that look like bugs.  See ya later, ocean.

Hayes’s turn.

He loved it!  Yay!  One for three!

Ok but now they are exhausted and nap time is coming up.  I rush back, pick everything up and load it into the Suburban.  Our entire time at the beach lasted a strong 31 minutes.  I took some pics to prove it happened because it ain’t happening again!

Can someone pass me a Corona, on the beach, without a dog or a kid in sight?  Nevermind, I just want a nap instead.

Beach and pool essentials with toddlers and babies:













Don’t be fooled by how relaxed I look

 

16 Comments
  1. You are the best Mom & writer, i enjoyed this so much, it made me laugh til i cried, such a real story, & truth be told beautiful family

  2. Have you gone to Dubious!! I live here in Jupiter and it’s awesome for little ones and has a lifeguard! The only problem is the water is not safe(bacteria) but usually the flags at the lifeguard station will let you know!!! Also you should check out the Loggerhead Turtle building! It’s free and has lots of turtles!! I think your a pretty awesome mom dragging all 3 babies and pup to the beach alone!

  3. Megan you are ridiculous! The crap you complain about is unreal. You are so out of touch with real mom issues! I have five kids, four and under and no nanny or au pair. I’m sorry your day at the beach wasn’t fun for you but quit bitching. Try having a four year old, two year old, one year old and two month old twins with no help, that my friend is hard as hell! You should think how entitled you come off before you write your blogs.

  4. Oh cry me a river! Talk to the regular ppl who cannot afford a nanny, au pair and helper, actually raise their own kids, and have to handle much more than just “ a day at the beach”…most people juggle a career with a family, what do you do all day? you are spoilt Meghan

  5. Megan your a trooper and a five star mommy 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 for pulling off a day at the beach with 3 kids and a dog 🐶 what we do to feel the sand between our toes.

  6. LOL!
    I can totally relate. I remember the ordeal of going to the beach very well.
    I had 2 year old girl twins and a baby boy. Opposite of you. Not sure which is worse! I did it all without a nanny too!
    You live and learn! The pool is a little easier for sure.
    My twin girls are turing 21 and my son 19 in May. I lived to tell about it but it was a LOT of work and a lost it a couple of times!
    You are doing an amazing job!! You are a great mom! Be well!

  7. Haha! The only reason WE take the kids to the beach is because I love the beach so it’s (typically) worth the craziness and they usually sleep well afterwards! But, I don’t think I’d ever choose for that to be a morning/drink free activity without my husband. So many other easier activities to thrill them! You live and learn what works best for your family!

  8. Oh my gosh Meghan that is exactly how it goes. Wait till they get bigger they will love it! Although my now 19 old son still hates sand on his feet.. ughh kids. Stick to the pool and a floaty oh and a corona!

  9. I enjoyed reading…this took me back to when my adult kids, were babies. We had a home in Cape Cod. All this work to create memories, that the children only remember from talk and photos. Lessons learned are always hardest on mom. Next time, don’t feel guilted…just take a few pictures at the beach, then go back and put them down for a nap and enjoy a few minutes for you!

  10. I just read a few of these mean spirited “ moms” comments above and I’m confused… you wrote a very real and fun and entertaining blog that I loved… and then I read these rude womans words of “ advice” and they took the love out of it all. I love the way you write and the realness of your stories. The other “moms” really need to keep their comments about perfect or imperfect memories to themselves. Being a mom of any child or children is hard work but when you look back and see that you tried every day to create memories and fun , it is all worth it. The kids are the ones who will benefit and have the great memories of an awesome mom who just lets it all out there. I love reading your posts. Keep up the good work my friend. ( and who cares if you’ve been given a lot in life… it’s how you use it that counts, and you choose to use it on your sweet kids, what’s wrong with that? Sorry for the novel it just burned me up to read some of the comments above. 🤷🏻‍♀️

  11. You are sooo funny!!! I love that you don’t sugar coat anything and keep it all real. Your kids are adorable and so are you!!! I’v been A fan since you first started on the housewives… and, boy, they were NOT easy on you!! Thanks for sharing!!! You always make me laugh!!😂💕

  12. I get it. I have 3 boys (3, 6, 9). I still don’t know why I bring them out. We always spend most of the time either trying to find the bathroom, in the bathroom, or with one of them complaining they are hungry or bored or both. I am hoping it gets better one day. For now, I rarely go out with them by myself because … I don’t enjoy dirty public restrooms!

  13. Meghan… you are an amazing mother with a pure soul. Just because you have luxuries most don’t, do not ever let someone allow that to take away what you are best at. Thank you for everything you share about your life and keep doing you.

  14. This is AMAZING! Haha! And oh god at the same time, as read by a mum of 3 who is currently pregnant with twins!
    Note to self: avoid the beach!!
    Xx

  15. I just don’t get moms judging other moms, it’s hard no matter what. Everyone has a different set of circumstances but that doesn’t mean we love our kids any less.

    This was funny and I can’t even imagine having 3!! My one wild toddler is enough 🙂

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